Is it about gender? Or is it something else?

Happy International Women's Day!

I have some thoughts about gender inequality.

First of all, let's take gender out of the equation.

When we hire people in tech, we do not and should not focus on gender or nationality, but should instead focus on skills, capabilities and how the candidate fit into the team. That's what we called equal opportunity employment. Along the same line, we should treat everyone equally in the workplace. Would I say, "Oh, you are a very good leader because you are a man." Or "You are very strong in Java programming because you are a man"? No, you are a good leader or a good programmer because you are good. Am I good at my job because of my nationality or gender? I believe I'm good at my job because I work hard and I'm good at work I do. I understand it's easier to generalize and label based on appearance, and judge based on one's previous experiences. It is my hope that people can go beyond the surface, and try to get to know everyone they encountered as unique individuals. We are all different; we all have our strengths and weaknesses; we are all special in our own ways. Try to embrace the differences.

Now, let's put gender back into the equation.

To our male counterpart, it is difficult for you to understand why and how inequality exist for men and women. I don't normally talk about it, because I don't want to sound like complaining too much, but it seems that people just don't understand unless you put the writing on the wall. So here is my own story, and I'm sure every other woman has her own unique story to tell.

Growing up in China, we were taught in school and in the society that men and women were equal (they said: "Women can support half of the sky.") However, the Chinese culture had a long and dark history of discrimination and mistreatment of women, which pretty much started since the recorded history. So this kind of ideal was hard to achieve.

When I was growing up, in addition to having to study hard in school to get good grades; at home, I was taught to do all of the house chores, such as making and pouring tea, cleaning the house and dishes, cooking, laundry. Every summer vacation, in addition to doing my daily summer homework, I would help mop the floor, pick up the house and do the dishes before going to play. In one word, I was brought up to serve. Don't get me wrong, I did not feel being mistreated, and I was happy to help my parents.

On the other hand, my brother and my male cousins didn't have to do any of those "duties." They could play, take Kung Fu or computer lessons, travel afar, because that's what men do.

In elementary school, I was always among the top of the class, and more girls did better than boys. In middle school, math and physics became difficult. Then one day in middle school, my physics teacher took me aside and told me I didn't do well in my physics tests, but "it's OK, because physics and math are hard for girls." When the society and your own teacher were telling you you couldn't do something because you were a girl, at that age, it could seal your fate, and you could give up trying.

Luckily, I had a strong grandmother who always taught us the importance of persistence and staying in school. I also had a lot of positive encouragements from school in the US that allowed me to try physics and math again, and I did really well (go figure). That allowed me to complete a degree in computer science and working in the tech industry.

I suspect things like this is still happening to girls these days, that they were not given equal treatment in learning. That could cause less women entering school to study STEM, which result to less women entering STEM fields, and other inequalities follow.

Let's not forget that the society expect different things from men and women. Women were expected to (or innately) care for the family, bare children, and many women have to do that on top of a full time job. In that way, women are working harder than men. These women deserve great respect.

We (women) are not expecting free rides or preferential treatment, we are just asking for level playing field and some due respect. It's unreasonable to ask for women to be in 50% of all fields. Everyone is responsible for his/her own success.

Ask yourself, do you intentionally or unintentionally treat your female colleagues differently than male colleagues? As parents, do you treat your sons and daughters differently? As teachers, do you treat your male students differently than your female students? Do you treat men and women differently? If everyone's answers are unequivocally no, then we can start talking about achieving gender equality.