A difficult word

Last Friday morning I had a phone call with my colleague, Mr. D., to explain to him some work related steps.

After my long-winded explanation, I concluded by saying: "Well, this is a convoluted explanation, so I appreciate your understanding of what I'm trying to say." Mr. D. responded: "Wow, I'm impressed that you are using the word 'convoluted.' It's a difficult word even for Americans and English native speakers." I guess it surprised me a little that the word came out so naturally, as if I planned to say that all along. Then we spent a little more time to have a pleasant conversation about learning English as a second language; and his living in Germany, where he only learned enough German to order foods and drinks in the restaurants. I explained to him that when I came to America to study, learning English was for survival, so I had to study hard and it was difficult at times.

I still remember in numerous conversations in the past, people would ask, "How long have you been here?" I would say: "6 months," or "1 year," or "3 years", respectively; and they would be impressed and said, "Your English is very good. It must be difficult learning a new language and study all these subjects in this new language." They were so encouraging, and I still appreciate their support til today. These days, it is more difficult for me to impress people with my English, knowing that I've been living here for more than 20 years. So I appreciate Mr. D.'s compliments, and I told him so.

It reminded me that one time I was working in the lab with my colleague, I think that was early days of my career so I had been living in America for about 10 years, I told Mr. S. "Oh, my computer is out of juice," and Mr. S. was flabbergasted. He laughed and said: "What did you say? I didn't expect that to come out of your mouth." Then we joked that I was being more American everyday.

Tooland, toyland

Saturday morning we got up early, so we made an excursion to the Peninsula to run some errands. After the errand, we enjoyed breakfast with wholesome souffles and delicious latte at Panera. Jack asked if we could go to this shop to get some tools before going home. I reluctantly agreed, thinking worse case I would wait in the car.

Hardware stores to me is like shopping malls to Jack. It is pulling-my-hair-out-boring. It boggles my mind how can anyone get excited about nuts & bolts, pipes & wrenches, faucets & kitchen sinks? A lot of times I just hangout around the nursery, and imagine a colorful garden for our house, but sometimes I wait for him in the car.

In the same way, Jack couldn't stand shopping malls, but I love it. I like shopping and window shopping and looking at fashion styles, and I can be there for hours. Sometimes Jack would be happy to be left at the Apple Store, but a lot of times he just waited in the car. When it comes to shopping, we both have to make compromises.

It didn't take us long to get to this place called TOOLAND in Redwood City, just in time for them to open at 9 AM.

When we went into the store, Jack's eyes sparkled with excitement; and my eyes opened with bewilderment. This place had wrenches & sockets, washers & ratchets, and many other tools that I could not name, in every size!

So when Jack consulted the expert shop keeper on his project questions, I snapped some pictures to capture my amusement. No they don't have a nursery, but on the back they have some heavy duty equipment like table saws and drills. I also learned some names of tool manufacturers like DeWalt, Stanley and Bosch. On the cashiers counter, instead of candy bars and chewing gums, they have small flashlights and mini screwdrivers. These people really like their tools!

It reminds me of a luxury car commercial: Adults, are just like kids, with much much better toys.

Lessons learned of a conscientious blogger

My blog is a window into my mind. When I ponder over each new topic; when I contemplate over word usage and sentence formation; and when I read them with nostalgic enjoyment. If I were to send out any kind of energy to the cyberspace, I wanted it to be cheeky and cheery, and I carefully made it the purpose of this blog for over 10 years.

However, the last post about Disney was downright negative. After I wrote that post, my mood was dark for a week as my mind was reliving the unhappy events from two months ago. I was vindictive and could not let go. It was like I purposely smeared my mind with dirt a second time, and let the incidents ruined my mood all over again.

Life is messy and the world is chaotic. There are many external things that are out of our control yet downright hurtful, and we are tough on ourselves a lot. We need to protect our own well-being. Find out things that disturb us, and learn to stay away from those. At the same time, find those things that make us happy and stick with them. Learn to heal from physical pain and let go of emotional sufferings, and keep our friends and love ones close.  Be kind to ourselves and others, not only for Karma, but also because it will help keep our own peace of mind.  

A not so favorable review of Disney World Orlando

My memories of Disneyland in LA were kin. For me as a younger and carefree person back then, it was indeed the happiest place on earth. So as we made the trip to Disney World Orlando, I had high hopes. After all, what can go wrong with taking a few days vacation from busy work in the middle of the June?

We even used Uber instead of renting a car, which was a pleasant surprise. See, as we gave this 'new' trend a try, we did 'accept' this less regulated gig economy. Old dogs can learn new tricks after all.

My beef is with Disney and every corporation like it. We bought the park hopper tickets online, so first of all, these multiple park thing is super confusing for first timers. You have to spend $500+ per person to go to these parks that you don't know anything about except for their illusive names such as "Animal Kingdom" and "Epcot", and there was no guarantee that you, as adults with no kids, would enjoy anything in these parks. The online corporate photographs with quintessential American families with their happy grins were not so assuring to me. (Since when have I become so negative? Sorry Disney, this has to be told in my own words.)

The first day we got to Epcot 30 minutes before the park opened and there were already people waiting in lines. It wasn't too bad, and the park opened on time. As people moved forward to enter the park, I saw that there were two types of scanners at the front of each line, one to scan the ticket and the other to scan each person's index finger, and there was an employee manning each line at the kiosks. Immediately, I was very uncomfortable. Even though it's likely that my personal information was hacked and might be already out in the black market for sale, I could not get myself to knowingly give up my finger prints to enter some theme park, no matter how creative Walt Disney was and how much I loved Snow White. Is this even legal?! I was beyond myself and puzzled that everyone else didn't seem to have a problem.

When I got to the front of the line, I refused to have my finger print taken. The friendly employee courteously explained that this was not a finger print scanner, it was just getting my bio-metrics as a personal identification. Oh? I actually knew something about this and knew that it was just some lip service. Because the finger print scanner is exactly taking your bio-metrics, so giving it a fancy high tech name couldn't fool me. I was not going to launch into the employee, as she was just doing her job, but come on Disney. If you want my finger prints, YOU PAY ME! I wondered if anyone, including the employee who wanted me to scan my finger and got out of the way knew that Sony, Disney's parent company, had the biggest data breach last year? There is no such thing as digital security. So if anyone asks for your bio-metrics or your facial scan, just say no. They have no rights to ask and you have all the rights to refuse.

So I was stuck in the front of the line until another friendly staff came to escort me to the customer service where they checked my driver's license and took my picture.  In which universe is it acceptable to require personal information just to enter a theme park, I don't know. What baffled me even more was that everyone else seemed to be fine with it.

This really ruined my mood. Imagine every time I access the happiest place on earth, I had to go through a three step program, refusal of finger print; some lecture about "no, this is just your bio-metrics," and pictures taken or check ID. I tried very hard to remain calm and not make a scene every time. I tried very hard to be the observer instead of being angry at the situation. I even wish my mind would forego the notion of right and wrong, so it wouldn't ruin my vacation. I used all that I learned from my Yoga training to somewhat keep my sanity.

Everything else in the Disney parks was impeccable. Despite catering to so many families daily, there was no single garbage on the grounds. The workers were super friendly, and they mastered the art of ushering people in and out of canteens and queuing them up into long lines without being pushy. The food was good. The man-made attractions were beautiful, and the rides were exciting. It was obvious to me Disney was unbashfully sucking money out of each visitor, from ice cold drinks to gift shops at the exit each ride to snack bars and restaurants. But it is a well-run city of its own, with happy Mickey-Mouse-ears-wearing vacationers  

Disney World is undoubtedly the king of all theme parks, and commercialism at its best (or worst).

Genius, a National Geographic docudrama

Recently we watched the finale of the National Geographic docudrama: Genius. It's a show about Albert Einstein, his life and accomplishments.

Einstein lived in the era of both of the World Wars, when new weapons were developed on both sides to "win the wars", which combined to kill close to 100 millions people (loosely citing Wikipedia). Wars are dark and cruel, in addition to the casualties, countless people were displaced and their lives ruined. It's ironic, if the cost was so many lives, then how could it be a "win?" What was the gain? Who is the winner? I say, both sides were losers and there was no winner. What kind of ideology was worthwhile of people's precious lives?

Einstein was a pacifist. He was against the use of science to build weapons. But some of his colleagues had different aspirations, so their talents were exploited, and they went on to create the most deadly chemical weapons and the atomic bomb. I think Einstein's biggest regret had to be his association with the massive destructive weapon - the atomic bomb. He might have wondered whether he could have done more to prevent the catastrophes.

People living in war times live under a dark cloud, and their day to day lives were around survival. At the end of WWII, people were severely scarred. My grandparents lived and survived the dark days of wars. My parents were born around the end of WWII, and experienced poverty in their youth. Back then, no one took the hard fought peace for granted. People just kept their heads down, work hard, live decent lives, and taught their children good values.

Now we are many years from the end of WWII. Living in the U.S. with relative peace and comfort, despite isolated terrorism and gun violence, have we become complacent with the peace and prosperity we are enjoying? There is no rule saying we are entitled to live in peace, while our previous generations lived in turmoil. We need to work hard to keep peace around us and around the world, but not be arrogant and feckless. Isn't this the purpose of learning history?

Do not assume

I feel fortunate to have spent my school years in San Francisco. For college essay assignment, we wrote about stereotype (that's when I first found out what it was); and we had minors such as Asian American History and Holistic Health. Critical Thinking class was a General Education requirement. I also enjoyed Humanities, where I learned to use my student discounts to go to the symphony, plays and museums; and I read the mind-blowing "The Brave New World". Tai Chi and Aerobics for P.E. were fun and healthy! For the final assignment of my Speech class, I wrote about Hilary Clinton's Commencement Speech at our school. Of course, I wished I didn't drop the Philosophy class, and that I took more arts and music classes, and even business. But studying computer science was not a piece of cake, so the last couple of years I really had to focus on my major.

Even after that kind of education, I still made unintentional cultural taboos. At my first job in Austin, I asked my Indian co-worker: does everyone in India practice Yoga? When he said no, I was surprised. But then I instantly realized that it would be as if someone asked me: does everyone in China do Kung Fu? Which would be kind of ridiculous. Or when people told me: Asian students were good with math and science. From then on, I made an effort to keep an open mind about others. I love to talk to people about their culture and background. To me, it was a way to realize the fact that the world is round, and we are all different and it's OK.

Here are some other things I encountered over the years when one can make easy assumptions/generalization, but one would be wrong:

Being from China, I do not ride the bicycle, and I have at least two cousins who don't ride the bike.

Not all Koreans, Mexicans, or Indians can take spicy food.

Not all Germans drink alcohol or ski.


Indeed, the only thing we can count on is: we are all different, and the world changes.

More on self-peeling apples

I always joke that Jake is a dog with propriety. He only eats food that he likes, and if he doesn't like it, he doesn't take it, or even if he takes it, he spits it out. Unlike Amy, she eats anything, and if we don't give her what we are eating, she begs for it and she is a very effective beggar. Jake's begging is more like: OK, I'm looking at you with sparkling eyes, and if you like me, you can give you what you are eating. There are only some scenarios where this "rule" breaks every single time.

This one time, I was cutting chicken. Jake sat there leaning against my leg and panting with excitement. Amy was right next to him, as if both of them were using their collective mind control to get some chicken into their bellies. I ignored both of them as usual. After a few minutes, I felt some warm moisture dripped on my bare foot. I looked down and found that Jake was drooling all over me.

Of course this is just showing the dog has a certain taste. His "propriety" shows when he carefully choose bushes and out-of-the-way spots to do his business, which I won't elaborate it here.

So yes, Jake is a regal-looking dog, until he starts drooling, then he is just cute and lovable. Don't large, the poor dog can't help it.

OK, back to the title of the post. I wrote about how Jack likes self-peeling oranges and apples. Sometimes I gave the dogs peeled apple pieces too. It's good for them, and it sounds cute when they actually chew on the crunchy apples. One time, I gave Jake a piece of unpeeled apple, because, apple peels are good for us; and he spitted it right out. I was a little surprised but wasn't bothered, as I offered it to Amy and she happily took it.

Decoding Jacques Pépin

Jacques Pépin is my favorite chef. I recorded all of his shows and I have a couple of his cookbooks. He is so good as a chef yet so down to earth. It's such a breath of fresh air comparing to the egotism in today's TV personalities.

Watching him cook is like watching a well choreographed dance. He would cook and prep at the same time, yet still have time to enjoy a sip of wine and teach us some great cooking techniques. His dishes always look so delicious and good-looking.

After watching so many of his shows, I basically came up with the following points to demystify the one-of-a-kind master chef.

• For saute, he uses a little of butter (in fact a whole bunch), a little of olive oil, salt and pepper.
• He likes to top his dishes with a little bit of chive.
• The ingredients he uses are always very fresh. I'm especially envious of the plum, red and juicy tomatoes.
• He is very generous with the wine and butter he put in his food. And he is unbashful about it.
• Every time he breaks an egg, he teaches us not to break it on the edge of the bowl or pot, but break it on the counter so that it doesn't shatter the egg shell, because the small egg shell pieces can get into the eggs.
• Every time he prepare the potatoes, he tells us to make sure to get rid of the "eye", because it's poisonous. And soak the peel potatoes in water so they don't discolor; and don't soak the peeled potatoes in water if you want to keep the starch in them.
• Every time he washes the mushrooms, he warns us to make sure to wash the mushrooms right at the time you are cooking them, otherwise they could discolor.  I mean, every time!

My mom taught me how to cook Chinese stir-fried when she let me help prep the food after school, so I was not afraid of cooking; Rachel Ray taught me to cook home-made food in 30 minutes, so I can cook even in busy schedule; Jacques Pépin taught me to be enjoy cooking and appreciate good food.

Hidden Figures

Hidden Figures is one of my favorite movies. I can't wait for the DVD to release, so that I can watch it again and again. It is very powerful and inspiring.

I watched the movie in a company Women in Technology group event with Jack. For Jack, it was special because it was about NASA and the early space program. To me, it was that and more. It was about the company I work for and its early contribution to the space program; about women in technology; and about being a minority in the workplace. The movie stirred up so much emotion in me. I was in awe of the unfair treatment these brilliant black women received in the highest technological institution in the U.S.; and I cheered for their hard-earned, well deserved triumph.

Being a Chinese-American woman in technology, I could somewhat relate to these hidden figures.

I teared up at the scene when Katherine Johnson had to jog a mile and a half to use the designated colored bathroom, sometimes in pouring rain, and then later wrongly accused by the ignorant mission director - Al Harrison, played by Kevin Costner, who was actually a good guy in the story - of taking long breaks. I felt that nobody should be treated that way, no matter what kind of work she did for a living and what race she was. I clapped when Al Harrison knocked down the Colored Bathroom sign and said: "Here at NASA we all pee the same color." My heart was filled with pride when John Glenn said: "Let's have the girl check the numbers, the smart one."

Not that I experienced terrible treatments in my life. In fact, I am one of the lucky woman that had many successful women role models in my path, and I'm thankful that because of them and my own hard work, I can live to my own full potential. My very first office-mate at work, and hence my first mentor, was a woman who is now a lead researcher and master inventor. The CEO of the company I work at is a woman; and we have many women are in different levels of management and technical leadership roles. There are so many men and women who gave me mentorship and I am grateful.

Discrimination comes in many shapes and forms. Nobody would say to your face that you are not smart enough because you are a woman, or because of the color of your skin. But it does come in very subtle ways. Many years ago in a technology conference, when I went to ask them a question, a couple of guys at the information desk asked me: "What are you doing here? Smile at people?" Being not quick on my feet, the only answer I could give was: "No, I'm here to work." The sense of insult only creep in later on.

Honestly I never really understand why people believe that men are smarter than women. Men may be able to achieve greater things because the society is so much more willing and ready to let them succeed and thrive. Through my school years and career, I always do as well if not better than my male counterparts in all subjects and tasks. Of course, some of those tasks were more difficult for me, but they were just as difficult for my male counterparts, and I just don't give up.

Moreover, I believe that by working together, men and women complement each other in skills. We use different methods and thought process to solve problems, and usually make higher performance teams.

It really sadden me that in this modern day, some of my college educated girl friends were unhappy when they had daughters instead of sons. One of my high school classmate ended up with three daughters when she decided to quit trying to have a son. I asked my friend who was expecting a daughter at the time why she wanted a son. She said it would so difficult for a woman to struggle and survive in this society, and it would be so much easier for a man. That maybe true, but I told her it depended on how she raise her daughter, and what kind of values she taught her. Do me and yourself a favor, if you have a daughter, teach her that everything is possible as long as she is willing to try hard to succeed.

There are smart people in both genders and in every race. Human value should not be measured based on intelligence or race. The bottom line is, we should all respect and be kind to each other despite our differences, and the world would be a better place. But, this ideal is only a dream that is further away from us as we speak.

Shake it off

Jake, our male golden retriever, usually lay in between of us when we were watching TV in bed, that way he got attention and scratch from both of us, until he got too hot then he would move to the end of the bed and sleep there quietly. This one time, he was peculiarly lying along the edge of the bed leaning against me. I suspect he never knew how big he has became and how much room he took up, but he definitely took up a third of the bed. At one time I was wondering: hmm... how could he balanced on the edge like this and not fall off? But then I let him be and went back to watching the movie.

After a few minutes I felt some kind of struggle, and heard a big thump! When I looked down to where the commotion was coming from, I saw that Jake, all 85 pounds of him, hit hard on the floor. But instantly he popped back up, looking very confused and shocked, he gave himself a tremendous shake from head to tail. I rushed off the bed to comfort him, and I scratched his body to see that nothing was broken. "Oh poor Jake, I'm so sorry that you fell off the bed, but you are OK." Of course Jack suspected for a moment that I pushed his dog off the bed, but honestly I didn't do such thing, and it just happened. Fully awaken from the accident, Jake jumped back on the bed, laying in between of us, and went back to sleep as if nothing had happened.

If it were me, I would probably ponder what went wrong; who did this to me; why it happened to me; how could I protect myself so this wouldn't happen again, and eventually probably opened up a string of thoughts that might lead to the meaning of life. But to Jake, things happened, he shake it off, let it go and went back to sleep. That's one of the many qualities of dogs that I appreciate.

Spicy but not flavorful

I have had this big pressure cooker for many years, but just recently started to use it. I thought it can cook food quickly to help with my busy work schedule, just like cooking with the oven. Since I have lost the instruction manual, it's intimidating using this cooker, because if not handled correctly, some pressure cookers can explode. Though when she gave me the cooker, my mom reassured that this one would not let you open if there was still pressure inside the pot. "You just have to wait until the nob came down." She told me.

One night, I made lentil soup with the pressure cooker. When the "whistle" blew (indicating there was pressure inside the pot), my dogs went outside of the kitchen, quietly laid on the hallway where they felt safe enough and still able to see what was going on on the stove. Thinking that animals have good instincts for safety, I also stayed a safe distance from the whistling cooker - just in case.

I let it whistled for 30 minutes in medium heat, then turned of the stove, I waited for 10 minutes until the nob came down, which indicated no pressure inside.

I tasted the piping hot lentil soup, said: "Hmm, it's spicy but not flavorful."

Jack: "How could it be spicy but not flavorful?" To him, the two are equivalent.

Then he tasted the food, and said: "Oh, I know what you mean."

I only put jalapeno to make the soup spicy. Salt and pepper obviously was not enough to make this all vegetarian soup flavorful. Well, that was a good learning experience, and we didn't finish it.

Since then, I have had some success in making chicken, chickpea coconut curry and other lentil curry. You can't go wrong with curry and coconut milk! I am thinking to make some corn beef with cabbage next.

These days

Whenever I feel like blogging or think of a topic, the mood just got ruined by the fact that Trump is our president now and all the bad things he and his cronies are doing to this country, in the short two weeks since he took office. How can I talk about movies, enlightenment, or tease my own silliness, when there is so much hurtful negativity going on? Excuse me for I have no mood to write to entertain anymore.

I wish you would read this article on the link below.

This essay brought me to tears. I admit I had been living a somewhat sheltered life - growing up and living in the most diverse place in the U.S. and working in a really diverse company, but I have experienced discrimination of being Asian American and a woman. Please accept the simple truth: if you are not a minority, you will never understand how it is to be one, and if you care to try to understand, then read this essay. With the Trump protectionism, it will just make minorities - that is, everyone except white men and the super rich - more closed up again instead of being more opened. So, no it's NOT OK to have the Trump rhetoric! And we must resist and fight for justice!

White People: I Don’t Want You To Understand Me Better, I Want You To Understand Yourselves